Gratis

So last year the duo were transfixed by the concepts of the lunch room and library. They enjoyed the freedom of going through the lunch line as if they were going through a buffet at Golden Corral.  They LOVED it and insisted on buying their lunches most days.  They were equally fascinated with the library, likening their weekly "shop" of the books to going to Barnes and Noble. 

As time wore on, they were less enamored by both experiences.  This year they are back on the boxed lunch bandwagon, and we couldn't be happier.  The lunch room does a wonderful job, but we prefer that they eat a hot lunch from home.  Also, they have about 18 minutes to eat, and going through a line shaves off a good 4-5 minutes of that time. 

Luckily, the mystique of the library is still strong. 

So we have only eaten lunch at school approximately six times or so this year.  However, the duo mentioned last week that they have a new bottled water option that they have been enjoying daily instead of milk.  Suspecting that the water might be more costly than milk (it is $.70 more), I thought perhaps I should log into their lunch accounts to check their balances.  Also, there is an option to view meal history, and I would use that to verify the cost of the water. 

To back up a little, there was an extra form to be completed this year at meet-the-teacher (MTP).  Our MTP also allows the opportunity to pay fees, order field trip shirts and annuals, but this year there was an extra form or two.  One of the forms was somewhat controversial because there was a request for salary information.  Having worked in a capacity where I sometimes had to ask unpleasant or potentially inflammatory questions, I empathized with the messengers asking the questions.  This was an obviously ill-thought-out plan from higher-ups who did not consider the face-to-face ramifications of asking people their annual income in an elementary school lunch room (read: a crowded room). The reception was not good, and to be truthful we did not appreciate the intrusion either. 

Skip, normally the more calm of the two of us, immediately pushed back. "Are we financing a home here?" "There is no way I'm providing this information." On and on.  Finally, we agreed to just "put something down" and leave it at that.  We went with a conservative figure.  Given that we have made a decision to live as honestly as possibly, to intentionally be truthful in all situations, we were displeased with the form. To tell a "white lie" on such a ridiculous form was vexing.  I prefer to save all of my white lies for when I am asked my age.  Or weight.  Or whether or not I color my hair.

Anyrate, when I was checking the online tool to verify the duo's school lunchroom balances, the balance seemed higher than anticipated. I clicked for more detail and verified that the flavored waters they have been enjoying are $1.00.  I also noted that the one day they purchased lunch in October had a $0.00 charge. Then I noticed that the other five lunch purchases were also $0.00.  When I contacted the lunch room, the issue was explained. There is a $0.00 charge because the duo are participating in the free lunch program. 

How I would love to be able to have an audio clip of a record player needle scratching loudly across a record here.  VVVVRRRRRPPPPP!

Of course, I thought about that wretched form and that I probably -- in my haste to turn the form in before Skip's ranting escalated -- checked the wrong frequency (weekly/monthly/annually).  I certainly wasn't that conservative. As quickly as the form flitted through my mind, I immediately dismissed it because surely there would be more to the application process than a hastily completed form? Surely our state already has all of our information and could quickly compare data to confirm/verify income? Or, at the least, income verification would be required (i.e., a W2)?  But no, when our form was fed into the machine, the scanner cut off some of the digits on the salary information, leaving a number that qualified the duo for the free lunch benefit.  Basically, the computer read the form incorrectly, and thus we began receiving the free lunch benefit.

Well played, God. We get it; white lies count, too.

So we have cleared up the situation and have paid for the lunches the girls had "on the house".  We are just grateful they were never aware of the matter or else they would have been treating their friends to ice cream on a daily basis.


Disclaimer: Providing nutritional assistance to children is a program we support. While the tone of this post is light, we absolutely want to see each and every child whose situation qualifies him or her with lunch assistance enjoy a meal at school, either free of charge or at a discount. I want to be really clear that helping a family in need feed their children lunch is no laughing matter.