Lauren A. Lindsey, Esquire

I talked previously about Lauren's desire to have her ears pierced.  For the record, Gracie was interested in having hers pierced as well, but she lost interest when I explained that there would be pain involved.  I talked about the pain here. 

Lauren recovered quickly from the threat of pain and decided that she was prepared to proceed with the procedure, regardless of the pain involved.  I was so sure that the idea of pain would curtail discussions that I really didn't have a second roadblock ready.  Instead, I went with the whole maybe-you-can-when-you're-older spiel.  She mulled that over for a few days and then countered with the ol', "but my friends have their ears pierced.... they're not older." 

Touche. 

Our rationale for waiting is that we think it involves some maintenance and care, and they are truly not ready for that challenge.  While Lauren is brave when considering pain in theory, she does not do so well in reality.  For example, she cried once for almost two hours when bubble bath got into her eyes.  We had to give her Benadryl, Motrin and apply ice for that emergency.  So... while we think pierced ears are adorable on many young children, we know from experience that there would be significant drama involved with this type of procedure. 

So now I am racking my sleep-deprived brain for a sure-fire roadblock to having ears pierced at the age of five.  We were really hoping to postpone this step until age 10 so I am going to need something good.  Suggestions are welcomed, but I need something with a little more heft than "because I said so."  Also, remember that having a discussion with Lauren is not dissimilar from arguing a complex case with highly competent legal counsel. 

I know... beggars cannot be choosers. 

Maybe I'll go with that:  beggars can't be choosers.  And then I will tell her to spend the next five years studying for the LSAT.