Dear William George,
We love you dearly, and you are a treasured member of our family.
Please stop tossing our possessions into the toilets. Your sisters' headbands do not belong there, and they are upset about the four or five headbands you have disposed of in this manner. I won't even address all of their other belongings you have dunked, about which they remain blissfully unaware. Also, daddy was not happy to find his iPad screen cleaner in the toilet either. You should know that saying "Uh-oh" hardly mitigates the damage.
(Mommy here... I thank you profusely for not tossing any of my things so far.)
We appreciate your cooperation.
Love always,
Your Family
(PS: Really, thanks for not destroying mommy's belongings. Let's keep up the good record, yes?)
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