Etiquette Schmetiquette

Although rarely do I find myself quoting Allure magazine, their Beauty by Numbers is always a smartly (likely because the column is a direct lift of Harper's Index) put-together listing of trivia.

Since etiquette is intriguing simply because of its origins and the richness of the customs espoused by propriety, I have always been interested and try (try!) to avoid missteps.  You would think parenthood would reinforce that commitment, but my three helpers add a degree of difficulty in fulfilling some of the most common expectations.  For example, the instances of having to abruptly terminate in person conversation due to a fleeing child are too innumerable to count.  I hope I come off more as "harried, preoccupied mom" than "rude ender of conversations". Even correspondence from the quiet of our home can be difficult, as I have found completed thank you notes that were never mailed or have inverted addresses to recipients or have found a list of notes to send that were never sent.  As quiet as Skip and I are, our residence is home to a special kind of chaos.  We love the makers of that chaos, and this is a short season that we are celebrating (not enduring, but wholeheartedly celebrating).  We will return to better manners as soon as possible, but in the meantime we apologize for our faux pas, of which there are many.

Etiquette by the numbers (via Allure magazine):

2800 B.C.: Approximate era when Egyptians began greeting each other with a handshake; because the right hand would be the one to bear a weapon, presenting an open hand was a sign of peace.

71: Socrates' age when he died, in 399 B.C. As an older man, he complained: "Our youth now...have bad manners, contempt for authority...."

1600: Year William Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing was published. It was considered one of the first English comedies of manners.

1676: Year the phrase "faux pas" was first used to describe a social error; in French, it literally means "false step."

18th: Century in which the word "etiquette" was coined in France. It referred to a ticket explaining how to dress and act that required to enter French court.

110: Number of rules for living in society, written by a French Jesuit in the late sixteenth century, that a young George Washington copied into a list he titled "Rules of Civility and Decent Behaviour in Company and Conversation."

2nd: Rule that read: In public, "do not put your hands to any part of your body not usually discovered."

89th: Rule that read: "Speak not evil of the absent, for it is unjust."

1: Number of months that author A. J. Jacobs tried to live by Washington's rules in 2009.

1922: Year Emily Post published Etiquette in Society. She gave advice on making introductions, holding a fork and avoiding sun freckles.

1964: Year Audrey Hepburn, playing flower seller Eliza Doolittle, learned diction by speaking with marbles in her mouth in order to impersonate a high-society debutante in My Fair Lady.  One of her memorable lines: "The difference between a lady and a flower girl is not how she behaves, but how she is treated."

1977: Year Diana Spencer entered the Institut Alpin Videmanette, a Swiss finishing school, where she learned to arrange flowers and compose the kind of thank-you note for which she later became famous.

$20,000: Tuition for a six-week program at the Institut Villa Pierrefeu, the only Swiss finishing school that remains open today.

45: The number of tests the students take during their residency. Business etiquette is a part of the curriculum, but so is napkin folding.

5: Number of points the Southern Etiquette Society lists for making a proper introduction: Smile, make eye contact, shake hands, say your own first and last name, and repeat the other person's name.

27: Number of years that Judith Martin had been writing the Miss Manners column when she received a National Humanities Medal in 2005.

47: Percentage of Americans who have texted or used social media during a meal.

2012: Year the Prince Charles Cinema in London began employing volunteers in black costumes -- "ninjas" -- to scold patrons using their cell phones during a movie.

16: Number of months that Lena Dunham dated her college boyfriend. After their breakup, his mother messaged her on Facebook, saying, "Hi, Lena - Bill and I remember you with such pleasure and fondness! But it's time to sever the Facebook connection so I'm going to block you. We wish you all the BEST!"

.....

Thoughts? Impressions?  Personally, I wouldn't mind being tutored in business etiquette at the Institut Villa Pierrefeu, but have no interest in napkin folding.  How about you?