Things parents say

About three+ years ago, I overheard an exchange that we still quote periodically today.  The scene was an overcrowded playground, and we were loading the girls in the car after some prolonged play.  The weather was unseasonably hot, one of the very first hot days of spring, when temperatures reach the high 80's.  Days like those are harbingers of the sweltering heat to come.  We had belted the girls into their car seats when I noticed a harried dad wrangling three boys, seven or eight-ish, into a small car.  They were hot and very sweaty, and they were arguing bitterly (and relentlessly) amongst themselves about an animal bracelet grievance.  The dad had mentioned a couple of times that he did not want to hear anything further about animal bracelets. Finally, one of the boys sullenly blurted out, "I'm HOT!!!"

The dad did not miss a beat and said, "You're hot because you're talking about animal bracelets." 

When we stare into the stubbornness of toddlers and young children, we sometimes snap and say things that defy logic.  In our desperation, we will say anything that might work. 

At our ballet class, the little cluster of moms who sit close to me are often comparing notes.  One such mom, let's call her Maggie, is one of those super-put-together types.  She has two daughters who take classes at the same time (5:00 and 5:15), and she always has her older son with her, and he completes his homework while his sisters dance.  The three children are exceptionally well behaved the vast majority of the time.  When an instance arises where they are not so well behaved, her unflappability is showcased. 

Last week, she relayed a story wherein they were at the pediatrician's office and experienced an unexpected, two-hour delay.  Because that type of delay was uncharacteristic for her doctor, she was there with nothing that would amuse her children.  She said they had read all of the books in the waiting room; they played "I Spy;" they exhausted all games and activities on her phone; they played games she made up.  She had nothing else up her sleeve.

Finally, when all three children were revolting, she overheard another child who was screaming from one of the exam rooms.  She said she huddled them together, leaned forward and asked, "Do you know why that little girl is crying?" 

The three children shook their heads no. 

"When children are bad -- really bad -- in the waiting room, they make them spend the night.  That little girl has been here all night long!" 

Upon re-telling, she was embarrassed.  "I never lie to my children," she said.  But it worked.  That cautionary falsehood bought her 15 minutes of exemplary behavior.  They were then called back, and she says she forgot to tell them the scenario wasn't true.

Given the fact that she was outnumbered and clearly acting in desperation, I would be tempted to keep that one to myself.