I read Jack Welch's first book when it was released in 2004. While describing his upbringing, he explained that his confidence was largely instilled by his parents, who told him frequently that he was handsome, capable, etc. My parents gave me a similar gift, in that they told me daily, often multiple times, that I was beautiful, regardless of what I was wearing or how put-together (or not, as was more often the case) I was. Skip's parents did the same for him. While there may be some aspects of my appearance I would change, if I were given a magic wand, mostly I am accepting, and I have those earliest, encouraging words to thank for that.
Before I had my son, I would have said that we feel a special obligation to be sure we tell our daughters the obvious, that they are beautiful -- stunningly so, but that obligation so clearly extends to William George. Self-confidence and positive self-esteem is the foundation for a healthy outlook and is not gender specific. We say this not to be superficial (after all, beauty is as beauty does, and the interior workings and motivations matter so much more), but simply to build up and keep insecurities at bay. The real world can be critical, and they will be tempted to be their own worst critics at some point. We merely try to state the obvious in the hopes that it becomes an integral part of their core.
With these thoughts in mind, I was fascinated with the latest Dove campaign. The Dove Real Beauty Sketches document an experience in which a sketch artist creates two drawings: the first is based on self-description, while the second is based on another person's description. The exercise reveals how critically we sometimes view our own appearance. To me, however, this demonstrates what happens when we view things positively versus critically or negatively. When we focus on the positive, we see beauty.
Believe your parents/spouse/friends tell you, and choose to see the positive.
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